Resolve your conflict
Do you suffer from conflict? Do you get along with your family and friends? Are there people in your life you can’t be in the same room with? Are your spiritual and physical worlds balanced? Are your heart and mind aligned?
If you don’t have any conflict then you’re probably a rock that lives on a deserted island, in other words we all have some conflict in our lives. We may have creative ways of avoiding seeing and feeling those conflicts but conflicts we have. Men and women, parents and children, employers and employees, heaven and earth, heart and mind, body and soul, science and religion, family and community, just to name a few, are all areas of potential conflict.
The old famous joke of the Jew who was stranded on a deserted island and was finally rescued after many years. Before being taken from the island he shows his rescuers his handiwork and they are quite impressed. He built himself a home as well as 2 other buildings. Upon inquiry he explained that the 2 buildings were 2 synagogues. Why do you need 2 synagogues? He responded, “The one over there I would never pray in”.
How do you resolve your conflicts?
- Runaway
- Fight
- Let them step all over you
- Make believe the conflict does not exist
- Pray to G-d to help you
- All of the above
What does the Torah say? For what purpose did G-d create the world? for conflict resolution. That is the purpose for creation. Conflict is not a necessary evil or evolution gone awry. Rather it is G-d’s reason for going through the trouble of creation. If you want to help G-d see his purpose for creation fulfilled then reflect on every conflict you have and realize that hidden in it is a beautiful light and that light can only be revealed when there is a conflict and it is properly resolved.
Where do conflicts come from? They come from our inability to truly see the inherent unity of the universe. If we could all see our true reality there would be no conflict. There also would be no way of truly revealing the great light that is revealed from conflict resolution. Is it worth it? G-d says it is and that is why he went ahead with the creation plan.
So how do you resolve conflict properly?
By looking beyond the physical and focusing on the soul. When we realize that conflict is here not for the purpose of causing long lasting fights, or for us to run from each other or to be stepped on but rather as the only way of revealing this great light. That will help us not get to wrapped up in our conflicts and rise above them and resolve them properly.
When we focus on the soul we are able to see the unity that exists in the world and there really aren’t any real conflicts.
This begins in our selves first. First we need to resolve our inner conflicts, the ones we have control over. The ones between body and soul, heart and mind and heaven and earth are the ones to start with. By studying Torah especially the chassidic and kabbalistic dimension will help in resolving these conflicts. Putting on Teffilin and lighting Shabbat candles are great mitzvot in helping resolve these conflicts as well.
As far as the other conflicts those require two people and is much more complicated. But after resolving our own inner conflicts it becomes easier to tackle the more challenging ones.
This is based on the teachings of the Baal Shem Tov, this year is 250 years since his passing.
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Zalman Marcus