Rabbi's Blog

Proud To Be A Jewish Woman

I was sharing with a study group about our son’s recent Bar Mitzvah and they were very intrigued by the chasidic traditions associated with this special lifecycle event. One of the participants raised a question about bat mitzvah’s for girls, it went something like this: “When did girls start having Bat Mitzvah’s?” I realized that there was much more to this question then just historical trivia. There was an underlying question of the role of women in Judaism. Below is my response to her (underlying) question.

When did girls start having a bat mitzvah? The answer is at the same time that men started having a bar mitzvah. But to fully understand the meaning behind that statement let me put things into perspective. Women have sadly been mistreated for many years in societies and cultures around the world and throughout history. Eventually this produced a backlash in our recent history which led to a lot of reform in our country and in other likeminded societies. Women today have been able to equalize their standing in society and for the most part have been successful in creating a fair and equitable environment. During the height of this revolution every part of society came under scrutiny to see if it measured up to the test of equality and Judaism was put to the test. At first glance it appeared that Judaism was just as guilty as the prevailing society in not giving women their fair share and place of importance in Jewish tradition. On the surface they were right and they went all out to try to right that apparent wrong.

But that was only on the surface. Any deeper look at Judaism would have produced a very different conclusion. Up until about 300 years ago the center of Jewish life revolved around the Jewish home. With the emancipation and the acceptance of Jewish people into the larger non-Jewish society, Jewish people became influenced by their non-Jewish neighbors and slowly they replaced the synagogue as the center of Jewish life instead of the home. Very similar to the Christian world they were assimilating into where the center of the religious life was in church. So instead of kosher, Shabbat and the laws of family purity being the center of Jewish life it was slowly being replaced by Friday night or Saturday and even Sunday services, the synagogue and all of its rituals were becoming the center.

What does the Torah say? What is and should be the center of Jewish life? In Jewish law we find this question: if a community only has enough money to purchase a synagogue or to build a mikvah (a ritual bath used by women for their special mitzvah) which one should they build? If you would have lived 300 years ago or older you would have answered the mikvah without any hesitation, but today most people will say the synagogue. The synagogue has become the symbol of Judaism today. But in Jewish law it is clear that the mikvah takes precedence over the synagogue.

Which mitzvah is more important keeping Kosher or praying in a synagogue? Which is more important keeping the Shabbat or reading from the Torah? To many people today the latter is more important but Jewish law is absolutely clear that keeping kosher and Shabbat are more important and take precedence over praying in a synagogue or reading from the Torah publicly.

When it comes to kosher who has a more important role a man or a woman? When it comes to keeping Shabbat who has a more important role the man or the woman? They are equal, in actuality the woman usually played a bigger role in both of those mitzvot.

When it comes to the mikvah, a woman’s mitzvah, it takes precedence over a synagogue!

So who moved the cheese? Who replaced the synagogue as the center of Jewish life? But now that it was moved by some I can fully understand why women would feel that Judaism was just like the rest of society and just did not treat women with respect and with dignity. So instead of examining the roots of this transformation and realizing that the true center of Judaism is in the home (not sowing and cooking etc. but the mitzvoth and connections we create with G-d in our homes) and Judaism is really not what it has been wrongly portrayed, instead they took the synagogue and not only made it the center of Jewish life for men (which it should not be) they went ahead and made it the center of Jewish life for women as well, what a shame.

Our pride in Judaism should come from the fact that we have this most amazing relationship with G-d and that we, mere mortals of flesh and blood, are able to fulfill a deep divine wish and desire. And that both men and women have always played a critical role in providing that experience for G-d and being able to have an intimate relationship with G-d. Most of the mitzvot apply equally to both men and women. There are some mitzvot that men and women play different roles. Men were given some mitzvot that are masculine and women were given some mitzvot that are feminine and together they make a perfect match, complimenting each other in their interconnected mission of having a relationship with the divine. I actuality the 3 most important mitzvot are Shabbat (which includes all areas related to family life), kosher (which includes our physical and spiritual health) and mikvah (which includes happy marriages) and women play a very important role in those 3, in some ways even more than men.

Today many women are beginning to look at Judaism from that perspective and are proud of their role in Judaism and realizing their importance in the really important parts of our relationship with G-d and they are embracing it with great excitement.

Our Hebrew school is a good example of this new trend. Lately we have more Bat mitzvah’s than Bar mitzvah’s. The girls have a very different ceremony than the boys and not only are they and their families not offended by the ceremony but they comment on how this ceremony was one of the most meaningful bat mitzvah’s they have attended. Why because they can feel how important the bat mitzvah girl is to Judaism and to the Jewish people and they can sense in her a deep pride in her Judaism and in her being a Jewish woman.

That in short was my answer to the question of when did girls start having a bat mitzvah? A bat mitzvah is when a girl begins her relationship with G-d and becomes a very important part of the Jewish people. There never was a time in Judaism when that was not the case. From the very beginning both men and woman had this special opportunity and responsibility.

Next week we will deal with what if a woman wants to do the masculine mitzvot?

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Zalman Marcus

Don’t Worry Be Positive

All eyes are on the unrest in Egypt and in other Middle East countries. The pundits, talking heads, bloggers and writers are weighing in with all sorts of insights and thoughts. What do you think? How do you feel about it? Are you worried?

How should we think about it, how should we feel about it? What does the Torah say? This of course makes an assumption that the Torah is relevant and timely and my bias is that the Torah is relevant and timely.

Knowledge or intelligence precedes all. For example your DNA has all the intelligence and information about how your body will develop and then it begins to develop. The intelligence of nature preceded the actual development of nature.

Judaism maintains that the Torah preceded the world and is the intelligence and information by which the world was formed. In other words if we could trace the intelligence of everything in this world back to its original source we would discover the Torah.

So knowledge and information is actually above us not in front of us. In our world it seems that knowledge is in front of us as we see with technological advances that we know more today than previous generations. But in truth we are simply discovering what is there and until we discover it it is above us. The Torah comes from above and has all the information in it albeit in a somewhat concealed form.

Just a few weeks ago our Hebrew School had a grandparent’s day in honor of Tu B’Shevat. As part of the program we had the student’s pair up with their grandparents or family friend and fill out information about the grandparent. Where they were born, lived, went to school, favorite subject, funniest memory and other things. Then we collected the papers and read some information from each page and the students ha to identify their grandparent etc. it was a lot of fun. After the day was done one of the grandparents came forward and told us that their grandchild learned more about them in this hour then in their whole life.

If knowledge precedes us then we look to our parents and grandparents for guidance lessons and insight, but if knowledge is ahead of us then our parents and certainly our grandparents are old and outdated. Judaism is based on respect and reverence of proceeding generations for exactly that reason to instill in us the notion that knowledge proceeds us and although we have had remarkable technological breakthroughs knowledge is actually above us and we should always look up to the Torah for wisdom, guidance and direction.

So what does the Torah say about how we should think and feel? In one line, “Tracht Gut Vet Zain Gut”, “Think positive it will be positive”.

It does not say to stick your head in the sand or put on rose colored glasses, rather it says to think positive.

Interestingly it does not say feel positive it says think positive. The reason being that our heart and our feelings are more susceptible to fear and worry then the mind. Of course we do the worrying in our minds but it is our emotions that are worried not our brains. Intellect is cold and calculated it is not emotional by nature. When the heart senses the possibility of loss it can start panicking and then uses the mind to worry and many times tries to manipulate the brain in dealing with the fear. The same is true for greed. The heart desires something and gets excited about it and then it manipulates the mind to assure that it will get it.

Although the brain can control the emotions and knowledge precedes all, however when it comes to response time the brain is slower than the emotions. Which explains why we say or do things and then regret them. What happened? Simple the emotions got there first, you said what your emotions were screaming you should say and then when the brain showed up you realized you said or did the wrong thing. Our objective in life should be to train ourselves to wait for the brain to show up before we say or do anything.

Fear usually comes from the emotions and thinking positive is something the brain is capable of doing. It would be very hard to tell someone who is worried to feel positive. But if you tell them to think positive that is something even a worried person can do. Our brain can control our emotions.  It is not that easy but it is possible and doable.

So when we are faced with an unknown as in the case with the unrest in Egypt we get worried, our emotions lead we feel a sense of fear, what will this mean for Israel, what will this mean for world peace? Are we ever going to be safe?

As our emotions are going wild we need to use our mind to think positive, to think of a positive outcome. The Torah tells us that ultimately there will be peace on earth; ultimately all people will unite together with one purpose and one goal. Israel will be safe and the Jewish people will survive.

This applies to our interpersonal lives as well. When someone does something to us do we think about it in a positive way or in a negative way. Do we try to assume that the person who is not treating us the way we should be treated is themselves in pain and needs our love or do we assume that they just don’t like us and therefore we need to respond back in kind? Thinking positive brings positive results in its wake; on a micro level, when you react in a positive way to a negative situation you usually get positive in return. On a macro level it works in a similar way through positive thinking we create positive energy which creates positive change.

What politicians and world leaders should or should not do they are all welcome to contact me and I will share it with them privately. The focus here is on us and how we should respond to world and personal events around us.

Tracht Gut Vet Zain Gut, Don’t Worry Be Positive

Have a Happy and Positive Shabbat

Rabbi Zalman Marcus

P.s. Bassie made it home before the storms and I am in therapy  

An Easy Fast?

I have been wishing people in honor of Yom Kippur to have an easy fast. I have gotten many interesting responses to my greeting.

The theme of most of the comments is a kind of funny expression on their face, like what exactly is an easy fast? And why would we want one anyways? Isn’t the point to fast?

There is an old chasidic saying that goes as follows, ”Even if G-d didn’t command us to fast on Yom Kippur we would still fast, after all who could eat on Yom Kippur?”

The meaning behind this statement can be understood by thinking about the many days that you have gone without eating anything. I have heard it so many times from myself and from people around me. It is like 6pm and the person I meet says, “You know I have been working since 7 am and this is the first thing I am putting in my mouth”.

What happened was it Yom Kippur? Why didn’t you eat? I was so busy, I was so worried, I was so excited etc. are many of the reasons given for not eating all day.

When we are very preoccupied with something food becomes secondary.

Like a bride and groom on their wedding day, it can be difficult to eat.

Yom Kippur is such a holy and special day, it is the day that we get to be so close to the divine. The awe, excitement and intensity of the day should be enough of a reason not to think about food for 25 hours.

An easy fast means that the fasting itself is a natural expression of your elevated state of conciseness, as opposed to just suffering through the day without food or drink.

May this year’s fast truly be an easy one for you and your family. May it be a day to truly uplift you and transport you to a deep soulful experience. If you are able to reach such places on Yom Kippur then it will truly be a day of healing, cleansing, forgiveness, invigoration, renewal and inspiration.

Have an easy fast.

May you be sealed in the book of true life.

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Zalman Marcus

Following the Mitzvah Trail

David, a young man in Connecticut, was in need of some spiritual guidance, he chanced upon a chabad representative who warmly guided him on his spiritual journey. He married a woman whose grandfather Albert lives here in Mission Viejo, as he got more involved in his Jewish roots he wanted to reach out to her grandfather and do something special for him to bring a little more spirituality into his life. As Al’s Birthday was nearing he contacted CJC of Mission Viejo and requested that a special Talit be purchased in honor of Al’s birthday. AL was notified and was thrilled by the gesture and made a weekly commitment to meet with me to put it on. This went on for a few weeks when suddenly Al stopped showing up. Upon further investigation it was confirmed that Al was quite sick and in the hospital. I went to visit him and kept up our weekly connection. One day I arrived at the hospital and he had been transferred, I eventually caught up with him in a rehab here in Laguna Hills. Al was not doing well each week he looked weaker and weaker and was going down hill. His spirit was strong and every time I would walk in he would say Baruch Hashem, I will get better and stronger. I wanted to believe him but it wasn’t looking good. One week I visited him and he was too weak for even a short visit.

I had noticed on the way in that the nursing home was having a Shabbat service. I had some time so I decided to see if I could find someone Jewish and visit with them. As I was walking through the hall I noticed a very Jewish name so I knocked and introduced myself, the gentleman by the name of Barry, was surprised and asked what I wanted. I explained to him what had happened that I was visiting someone and noticed his name. “Is he a member of your Temple?” he inquired. “We don’t have a formal membership was my reply, a Jew is a Jew, and if I can help any Jew it is a mitzvah, so I am here to visit with you”.

He was so appreciative of my visit and soon I was visiting with Barry quite frequently.

After a few visits with Barry he began talking of his daughter and that I should meet her. I took down her phone number and I called her and introduced myself. Her response was I thought my father was hallucinating when he told me that a Rabbi had been showing up to visit him, but now I realize that it is true. We setup a meeting. She is in the mental health profession and as a result of our meeting many people have been helped. This is a story that does not have an end as the ripple effects of the mitzvahs just keep on going.

What happened to Al, you might ask, well, after being in and out of the hospital for almost a year, thank G-d, he had an amazing recovery. Why just today he came in for his weekly meeting, saying Baruch Hashem in a loud strong voice.

One mitzvah leads to another and another…..

It truly is a blessing to be able to be a part of these mitzvahs. 

This Shabbat is very special it is the day when the Rabbi Yisroel, The Baal Shem Tov was born. He championed the mitzvah of love your fellow as yourself and was a master of Mitzvah trails. It is also the day the founder of Chabad, Rabbi Shneur Zalman, was born. He was well known for his great acts of kindness and his mitzvah trails from a very young age. It is also the 18^th day of the month of Elul. 18 = Chai = Life. The greatest way to add to our life is by giving to others.

Start your mitzvah trail today.

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Zalman Marcus

P.S. The names and some of the details have been changed to protect their privacy

Near Death Experience 

On April 15, 2010, Mark went in for a minor surgery to remove some cancer that was in its early stages. The doctor said he would be home in just a few days. As he was going into surgery a friend mentioned to him that she had a friend whose daughter was going in for major cancer treatment at the same time and in the same hospital. Mark offered to visit her as soon as he was able to walk.

On April 27, Mark opened his eyes for the very first time. He could barely see, move or make much sense of what was going on around him. But he had a strong memory of a vision he had while he was asleep. You see Mark suffered from a terrible infection that as a result of the surgery almost killed him. His temperature was so high they had to put him into a coma to try and save his life.

But the vision is still so vivid for him as he retold it to me in person on August 26th, 2010.

Mark had come in to first of all thank me for Chabad being there for him and his family during this difficult time, he was visited by 2 young women who brought him challah on Friday for Shabbat while he was in the hospital and the many calls he received from the Rabbi's at CJC. And secondly to share the vision with me.

In the vision he saw the young girl being taken to heaven with her religion and he saw his grandmother telling him to go back it was not yet his time.

As soon as he had enough strength he called his friend to find out how her friends daughter had fared with her treatment. He told him that unfortunately she did not make it and had passed away. He later found out that she died at the same night he had that vision. He eventually got back some of his strength and went to visit the mother to share with her his vision hoping that it would bring her some comfort which it did.

When Mark was young his grandfather would always go to the synagogue but would give the rabbi a very hard time about religion. It was almost like he only went to annoy the rabbi.

When it came time for his bar mitzvah his grand father said that he would automatically become a bar mitzvah even if he would not celebrate it and it was up to Mark to decide if he wanted one or not.

Being a 12 year old he chose not to have one, learning Hebrew just did not seem exciting enough compared to baseball and tv, a decision he would live to regret for many years. After this near death experience he really wanted to take care of his Bar Mitzvah although it is 60 years later.

Not wanting to wait we had a small but meaningful Bar Mitzvah celebration right there and then. He was overjoyed. It was a tearful and joyful ceremony, a sixty year dream finally coming to fruition.

He attributes his miraculous recovery to G-d and to his devoted and loving wife who nursed him back to life.

I wish Mark a full and complete recovery to full strength and many happy and healthy years ahead.

Mark is an inspiration for me. He has such a deep connection with his heritage it resonates so deep within his soul.

We are told that during these special days of before and after Rosh Hashana our soul which is usually buried deep within our consciousness is more easily accessible. We can tap in to that reservoir of hope, strength and power, and connect with ourselves on the most profound level.

During the rest of the year this would be a difficult challenge, but this time of the year it is much easier.

Seize the moment and reach out and touch your soul, reach out to others and make your life and theirs a whole lot deeper and more meaningful.

Now is the time when doing mitzvot comes more naturally, start a habit today when it is easy, it will stay with you even during the rest of the year.

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Zalman Marcus

What Do We Have In Common?

Do you tend to find what you have in common with others or do tend to find what separates you from others?

Does your Judaism help you be a more unifying kind of a person or does it make you more divisive?

When you meet other Jewish people who don’t share your particular Jewish point of view, whether that might be in practice or faith, do you try to find common ground or do you try to show how different you are? And what do you feel in your heart of hearts?

Which path would bring more peace? Which path would make your life more meaningful? Which path is in line with the purpose for which we were created?

Peace is one of the greatest blessings in the world. In our prayers we refer to peace as one of G-d’s most treasured blessing and we wish for G-d to bestow it upon us.

Peace does not mean that we should all think alike, quite the contrary, G-d created us each to think uniquely different, as the Talmud states, “no 2 think alike”. However, we need to do what ever we can to pursue peace.

One way of accomplishing it is by focusing on what unites us and not what divides us. We Jews are such a minority as it is, we have no choice but to focus on what unites us rather then what divides us.

This is one of the teachings of the Rebbe, Rabbi M.M. Schneerson, my teacher and mentor, that made a strong impression on me when I was a young Yeshiva student. He taught me that we all have so much in common and we should never let our differences get in the way.

I have tried my entire life to live up to this standard, to always try to find common ground. Even if it is only 1%.  When I have succeeded it has brought much joy to my life.

What is remarkable is that it is many times easier to get along with someone that you have little in common with then someone that you have a lot in common with.

That would go for family units, community members etc. In those very close relationships the small differences that we have seem to be a greater obstacle then the large differences with those that we are not so close with.

Therefore it is easier to get along with someone from an entirely different faith then with many of our own faith. It can be easier to get along with a stranger then with a close family member.

The reasons for this can fill volumes, but the underlying solution is simple but not easy. Instead of allowing the differences to consume us, we should obsess over the things that unite us.

Our nature seems to work against us and tries to find the differences that separate us. But for this alone it was worth it for G-d to create the world. To see a world of such diverse people and ways of thinking that despite its differences comes together and finds the things that unite them in making this world a better and more G-dly place, is truly divine.

On a personal level we need to work hard at finding the common ground because the emotions run high and are difficult to reason with.

On a collective level it can be easier.

One of the areas that many of us have in common is the idea of helping people less fortunate then ourselves. The concept of tzedakah is a universal unifying idea. It cuts across all borders and boundaries and allows us to truly rise above our differences to make a cosmic difference.

Let us all unite and join hands in unity and break down the walls that divide us. We don’t have to let go of our personal beliefs or practice we are simply uniting around a cause that we can all agree upon.

We truly are one community we truly are one world. Can you imagine what it would feel like if we could put our differences aside and join together with one heart about one common cause?

True, we cannot change the world overnight and we should not expect dramatic results in our lives in a flash, but by changing our attitude and by looking for opportunities to come together, then we will see some results. Over time it will bring much joy into your life, it will bring much joy to G-d, and will ultimately reach global proportions.

So next time you see or hear of an event that will help others in our community try to find a way to participate, whether you are a part of that group or not. In truth we are all part of the same group, we are really all one big family, with the same history and destiny.

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Zalman Marcus

The King Is Coming

Are you dreading Monday? Are you feeling a bit down?

The King is coming. No not Elvis, The King is coming. According to Jewish tradition this Monday night begins one of the most beautiful months of the year, Elul. A month of love, love from above, from the King of love, G-d. The word Elul is an acronym for “I am for my beloved and my beloved is for me”.

This month is referred to as the month when the King is in the field, when G-d comes and meets us on our terms in our state of being.

Each one of us has amazing potential and has the ability to accomplish a lot. We have it in us to be successful, but, when times are tough it causes us to doubt ourselves and to cower in face of the seemingly insurmountable obstacles. But we are bigger then that, we can overcome. We need someone to believe in us and encourage us when we are down. We need a cheerleading squad cheering us on. That is what this coming month is all about. For us to tap into the deep recesses of our soul and experience the G-dly part of our soul, The King, and allow it to bring us back to a positive view of ourselves. To a place where we think we can instead of thinking we cannot.

This applies not only to our physical lives but to our spiritual life and pursuits as well. We can get down on our selves and feel that we are falling short and sometimes even give up. This month is the time for us to rally the troops, throw off the shackles, and experience spiritual freedom.

So how do you do this?

1. Be more giving, by giving to others even in the smallest of ways helps us reconnect with our deeper side. You can give to others by letting someone waiting on line to go in front of you, or by waving a car that is waiting to pass in front of you.
2. Prayer; add a little bit more prayer into your life. When you wake up say thank you G-d for giving me life. Take a walk and thank G-d for nature.
3. Study; Open your mind and learn new ideas, learn about G-d’s great world, learn about your soul, study your heritage, study Torah

Any and all of these are sure ways of connecting to your soul, to The King inside of you. The most amazing thing is that you don’t have to dress up for The King at this time. This is our opportunity to have this experience without going out of our homes, without going to a synagogue, without having a holiday and without having to wear or eat anything special, just as you are.

Monday may mean a lot of stress but this Monday can give you a boost and the ability to have a great month.

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Zalman Marcus

When I Grow Up…

What are you going to be when you grow up? When are you going to grow up? Are you fully grown up?

The Torah tells us that Moses spent the last few weeks of his life communicating with the generation of Jews that would be entering into the land of Israel. He described to them in great detail all that had happened from when they left Egypt through their 40 year stay in the desert. He also ackwoleged that they were better prepared to enter into the land then their parents generation. In a sense they were more grown up.

Grwing up is a process. And as we get older and wiser we realize that there are many areqas of our life that we could use some growing up.

This is the Torah’s view on life, that we should be in a constant state of growth.

We are all at various stages of life and the questions about growing up may seem a bit out of place. However, if we look deeper we can see layers of growing up. You may be grown in some areas and not grown up in other areas.

There are many parts to the human being; there is the physical, the emotions, the intellect, will power and pleasure.

Each area has many parts and we need to grop up in each of them.

If we are open and allow ourselves to a critical look at where we are we will discover thgose parts that need help.

This is one of the reasons why we read the Torah again each year. On the surface it would seem that we should read something else, afterall we have been reading the same book for close to 3500 years, that’s a long time.

But the book is only the same if you stay the same. If you grow each year then it is a new Torah. There is a new dimension that of your life that you are working on and developing and growing in and the Torah has something to say about it and help you grow in that area. The reason you did not see it last time you read it was because you were unaware of that part of your self.

As a people we have grown more then 3500 times we have learned much about ourselves as a people and how we interact with the world. Maybe on an individual basis we maybe at level one but the Torah knowledge available today is on level 3500+, and it is all available to each and everyone of us regardless of what level we are currently on.

The amazing thing is that because we have gone through these steps of growing up as a people, when ever anyone wants to begin growing they can speed through the process on the wings of the many generations that came before. We are truly in spiritual digital age.

So what area of your life is still under developed, your emotional side (if you are a masquline), your intellect (if you are feminine), and the other parts of who we are.

Every day is a day for growing up in some small area of life. hwne you have growing to do you then you are still young and fresh. When you are all grown up, well I don’t need to describe what that looks like.

So lets celebrate the fact that we are not yet fully grown up and continue to work on growing up in the areas that we need to.

Don’t be afraid to acknowlegdge your need to grow up, if you are a fraid that is a big sign that you have plenty of growing up to do.

I have found that although we grow up in many areas we still have many areas that we could use some growing up.

Life Is…

How would you answer this question? A bowl of cherries? Wonderful? Another name for problems?

What does the Torah say?

Life is what you make of it. It is ultimately up to each one of us to decide what kind of a life we are going to have. We determine if life is wonderful or the opposite. We have the choice of feeling like we are victims of life or feeling thrilled and happy that we are alive.

I shared this thought with a group of seniors at Heritage Point and one of the seniors asked, how can you say that to a bunch of seniors when many of us are truly ill and suffering? Tough crowd. Great question. What do you say? What can you say? So what do you do when you’re in a pickle? You respond with a question. So I asked her, when was there a time in your life when you did not have any problems? If being happy is a function of circumstance then you really never have a chance at being happy. When you are young you have to deal with your parents and peers. When you are older you are dealing with adolescents and school. Then you get married and have to deal with those issues, you get a job and have to worry about productivity and job security. Kids? Now you really have something to worry about. Bills, college tuition, retirement, older kids who move back in or need your support, a stock market that can’t keep its head above water, your savings depleted. Not to mention your relationships, moods, and health issues.

If you are waiting until you have no challenges, don’t hold your breath. So how do you deal with life? Our attitude towards our life and what is happening is in our hands. No circumstance or situation has the power to strip us of our inherent happiness. If we allow it then even the smallest thing can upset our happiness or if we choose we can view life in a positive light despite the most difficult of life’s challenges.

There is a famous book that is on my must read list and that is “Man’s Search for Meaning”, by Victor Frankel. In it the author, himself a holocaust survivor, lays out his understanding of human psychology. In short, if you have a why, a purpose for your life, then you can withstand any what or how. That the deepest part of the person is his purpose; if you have a purpose then you view your life through that prism and are able to see even the most difficult situations and not despair of life. But someone without purpose will not be able to handle life at its most difficult times.

The deeper your purpose and the more ubiquitous it is, the better your ability to handle the varying challenges of life.

The Torah gives our life purpose not just a certain times, but at all times. The Torah shows us how every moment can be purposeful on a cosmic, divine level. By studying the Torah and by exploring its depths we are able to perceive purpose in every moment and situation.

The Mezuzah on our door has the Shema prayer in it. It is also said every morning and evening. What does it say? “Shema…Hear Israel, G-d our G-d, G-d is one”. In Hebrew the names of G-d have different meanings. The first name means the divine energy that is above nature, the second name of G-d refers to the divine energy invested in nature. One is natural one is supernatural. Yet we are told they are one. They are both the same one G-d. When we look out at the world, at our life we can see the divine energy invested in nature, and many times that nature is not very kind to us, it represents all the physical and material things in this world as well as the difficulties in life, the things that cause us stress.

But that is only one side of the coin; there is another divine energy that is present as well, the divine name that represents above nature. It is our job to see them as one. To view everything not just through our physical eyes but to see beyond that and to see that there is another name of G-d at work and present as well. That means not focusing on only on our circumstances but on our purpose.

When we focus on our purpose in spite of what is going on in our lives that allows us to rise above what is going on and see through it. It is also somewhat supernatural as it is going against our nature. G-d reciprocates our supernatural actions with His own supernatural powers. He reveals the name of G-d that is above nature and allows it to influence our lives and actually improve our situation.

May G-d bless each one of us by allowing the name of G-d that represents the supernatural to be revealed so that we don’t have to just believe in it but that we will actually be able to see it with our own eyes, making our lives easier with abundance of health, wealth and peace of mind.

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Zalman Marcus

What Are You Waiting For?
Do you have something you are looking forward to? Does the future look bright to you?
The world we live in currently has no shortage of troubling news. Whether it is economic, political, national, global or Israel, there is plenty of things to worry about.
What does the Torah have to say? We are currently in the "nine days", the nine saddest days on the Jewish calendar. This coming Monday night begins the saddest day on the Jewish calendar, Tisha B'Av, the day both temples in Jerusalem were destroyed and countless other sad events happened on that day throughout our long and painful exile.
Yet at the same time this is also one of the most uplifting times of the year. On the very day that we mourn the loss of the temples we also reaffirm our hope, faith and trust that the 3rd temple will be rebuilt and the exile will end and the world will become the paradise it was meant to be.
In a sense the destruction of the temples confirms our belief in its ultimate rebuilding. As the Talmud states that on the day the temple was destroyed was the same day that the messiah was born.

The Jewish approach to the painful and sad events that have happened to us has always been that tomorrow will be brighter. Things will get better and ultimately life will be better then ever before.

From a Torah perspective we have a bright future ahead. And we have really good things to look forward to. We know the ultimate outcome, we know the end of the story. So every thing that happens is only getting us closer to that end.

The Tipping Point
What is the tipping point? The tipping point is the point when things change dramatically in a non linear fashion. For example; water acts pretty much the same at 80 degrees as it does at 40 degrees, but at 32 degrees it reaches a tipping point. Water acts in a very different way at 32 degrees, it freezes.
We as individuals and as a collective entity have a tipping point as well.

And just like water as it gets closer to 33 degrees it looks pretty much the same as it did at 80 degrees, yet we know that it is only one degree away from its tipping point. The same is with the collective tipping point when you are one degree away from your tipping point you can still look and feel like you are miles or decades away from it.

According to the Torah each and every good deed contributes to the tipping point. When we reach a critical point the tipping begins. No one knows when that will happen but we are instructed to view every moment of life and every act we do as the potential act that will be the tipping point.

Although we can’t know exactly when this tipping point happens the Torah tells us that there are tell tale signs of its approach and by all accounts we are speeding towards that moment.

But because we have not yet reached that point the world for the most part looks the same. We need to look a bit beyond the surface to see the amazing signs of our rapid approach.

The amazing advances in technology, biotechnology, nanotechnology are just some of the signs of our proximity to the tipping point

I would like to recommend a great series of short online video’s that address these signs. It can be found by clicking here. Rabbi Asher Crispe does a fabulous job and I am sure you will enjoy the 3 part series.

So what are you waiting for? The future is in each and every one of our hands. Do a mitzvah right now. Do a good deed. Become part of the global solution. You are part of the greatest tipping point in history your mitzvah might just be the one the world is waiting for.

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Zalman Marcus

The Kabbalah of Bread II

Is your nature like water? Can making dough be a spiritual and holy act? What is the secret to unity? How to really get along with others?

The first step in mystical bread making is the crushing and grinding of the kernels into to fine flour. Taking our self centeredness and the “me” syndrome and grinding that down until it is selfless is the first step in this cosmic G-dly plan for humanity.

Now that you have crushed the ego now you need to put it back together again. How do you do that?

The thing you need is water. The nature of water is that it finds the lowest spot that it can. Instead of looking for the highest place or the most prominent place it searches and is happiest when it finds that lowest possible spot. The personality of water is a person who is always looking to find someone lower then themselves, i.e. someone that they can help in some way. A water nature means you want to be of service to others. Not for self aggrandizement but simply to help another.

Why do you need to put it back together? Without an ego we would have no drive. With an ego we only think about ourselves. But when you crush the ego and turn it into flour and then you introduce this water personality now you have a selfless person with a drive to help others.

Now you can move to step 3, kneading. Kneading is creating unity with tiny pieces of flour. When people come together for a cause whatever that cause may be the unity is dependant on the cause when the cause goes away so does the unity. But when the unity is created by a genuine desire to help others that is not ego or circumstance driven but rather deep and eternal, then the unity is eternal.

So the third step is not just helping others but actually uniting with others in the same cause, the cause of helping others. When each person goes through this process, then we are able to unite all of humanity into this giant Challah.

And that is why G-d put us here on earth to create this kind of unity ourselves. Man made unity, not a G-d imposed unity like in all other areas of creation, is the kind of unity that only we humans can create. And that is the kabblah of bread. Nature represents the goodness and unity that G-d creates, bread and Challah represent the goodness and unity that we humans create. Easy? not a chance. Worth the effort? Absolutely. Will it ever happen? G-d thinks so.

Now that you know the Kabbalah of bread; making and eating bread takes on a whole new dimension. Challah, bagels or delicious rugaleh’s won’t ever be the same. It will be beckoning us to turn ourselves and the people around us into bread and produce the purpose of our creation.

Shabbat Shalom and a Happy 4th

Rabbi Zalman Marcus

P.s. The world cup has captured the headlines and many world viewers; here is a fun video that will give the game a whole new spin and a new respect for Chabad Rabbi’s. Click here. No rabbis or players were injured in the making of this video.

The Kabbalah of Bread

Of all the creatures we are the only ones who cannot live very well if we just eat unprocessed foods. Did you ever wonder why? What is our purpose? How is our purpose connected with bread?

Recently I watched a program about animals and their eating habits and it struck me how lucky they are. They don’t need to cook any food, no need to use food processors, or bake anything, no kitchens, no mess, no shopping, no cleaning and no BBQing. On the other hand we just went on a family trip and we had to take half the kitchen, and an entire grocery store with us in the car. Why is it that we have to go to such lengths to prepare our food? And the better we want it to taste the more we need to patchke, (a wonderful Yiddish word to describe what you do in the kitchen when you are trying to cook gourmet). Let’s take bread for example; we humans cannot eat the hard kernel, we can cook it and soften it and then eat it but it doesn’t taste so good. If we grind it and grind it until it is so thin that it turns into flour and then we mix it with water and other ingredients and then we bake it in an oven, ah! Then you have delicious bread.

According to Kabbalah this is a lesson for us, it is G-d’s way of teaching us about our purpose.

Everything else in creation fulfils its purpose by just being itself. We on the other hand if we just act ourselves we have not fulfilled our purpose. This is reflected in our food. For animals they don’t have to do anything to their food in order to eat it, we have to do something to many foods to modify it from its natural state in order to eat it. (I am sure there are those that would argue and say that we should eat like the animals and not modify the food at all and that it would be better for us, whether that is true is debatable, but regardless, the mere fact that we have the choice and that we enjoy it better in its modified state, according to Kabbalah is not an accident or a bad habit but rather the way G-d intended it for us. For example according to the Torah we are required to eat matzah on Passover and Challah on Shabbat, both are created using flour etc.)

Let’s take it one step further, each of us is supposed to become bread. How? Well first lets start with the kernel, the kernel represents you as you are naturally, tough and self aware and self centered, not a good candidate for relationships with other humans or with G-d.

The first thing you need to do is to grind that kernel down until it turns into flour. So jump right into the grinder, just kidding, it means to remove the tough exterior and self centeredness and to open your self up to be able to unite with others, it does not mean to throw yourself away. We cannot unite with others and with G-d while we are so tough and self absorbed. Only after we have broken down the kernel and ground it so fine so that it is flour only then are we ready. How do we do that practically? The act of grinding in a spiritual sense is the activity of perspective. Truly understanding our place in the world and realizing that it not about me. The world does not revolve around me and it is not about me.

This past week the chabad world celebrated the release of the previous Rebbe, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok Schneerson from soviet prison in 1927 (for the full story click here). He was considered the lion of the Jewish people for his unwavering stand against the Soviets anti-religious onslaught and for his literal self sacrifice on behalf of Soviet Jewry. He was arrested many times in his life and was in constant danger of losing his life but he continued his indefatigable fight against those who wanted to eradicate Judaism. He ultimately succeeded in preserving Judaism and the now former Soviet Union is just another black stain on human history. Where did he get the courage and the strength, the fortitude to risk his life and stand up to one of the most ruthless regimes of our times? He practiced the above, he put himself and his personal concerns aside and gave all he had to a cause greater then himself. He ground his kernel into the finest and thinnest of flour. All that remained was a man with a dedication so strong that even the mighty Soviets could not crush him or his spirit.

G-d could have created us already in this refined state but he wanted us to participate in creation. This is our unique role in creation. But it is only the beginning.

To be continued…

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Zalman Marcus

Why I Love Jury Duty

Can there be anything worse then getting a jury summons? They even call it a summons, although when you get there they try to explain to you that this is the greatest thing for our democracy.

But I actually loved it and it taught me many lessons.

1. It allowed me to stop my life long enough to think, to think about my life. We are so busy living we rarely have time to think about what we are doing, why we are doing what we’re doing, is it making us happy, is it fulfilling?

Now this might be scary for many people and not for the weak hearted. After all you may not have the answers to these questions and that can be unsettling to say the least.

But it is so important. How can we just ignore the most obvious questions facing our lives.

Therefore it can be a blessing when we have no choice but to think about it.

And what a place and time to do that. Just imagine sitting in a room with 100’s of people of all walks of life and nationalities. All residents of orange county but with very diverse beliefs and cultures.

I brought along plenty of food and reading material. This was a great place and time to think about my life and my purpose.

When am I the most alive? What do I know that I should really be doing? What is getting in my way?

Recently I was talking to a fellow who owns his own company and he described his daily schedule and basically he has no life. He has no time for anything else he is totally consumed by his business. It was so clear to me what was wrong with his picture, who needs such a big company, who needs so much money, for what purpose for what end. Everyone else’s life is so easy to dissect and analyze and advise. Our own life on the other hand can be more challenging. These moments of forced contemplation can be a good start to helping us ask these questions and find the answers that are in our soul. Every time I speak with people it amazes me how deep down they know what they should be doing and what the right thing for them to do is. Actually doing it and implementing it is the challenge.

So here are some questions to get you started:

If today was your last day on earth...

What would be your biggest regret?

How would you want your children to remember you?

What do you want your friends to say about you?

What would you say is your biggest contribution to this universe? 

What makes you smile most?

While I was there I read something that gave me much to think about: A chosid went for a private audience with the first Chabad Rebbe. During the conversation the Rebbe enquired about his situation. He answered that he had lost everything and was in financial ruin. The Rebbe’s response was clarifying and timely. The Rebbe said, “You are needed to spread the light of Torah and to develop the personal relationship between man and G-d, G-d on the other hand, is responsible to make sure you are provided for. You do what you have to do and G-d will do what He has to do.”

May we find our fulfillment in the unique work G-d has created for each one of us and may G-d bless us with His abundant blessings.

I hope you have as much fun as I did at your next jury summons. The good news is we don’t have to wait until then, any and every day we can make the time to stop and think about the above questions and motivate ourselves to be quiet just long enough so that we can hear the strong but very quiet voice of our soul as it speaks to each one of us calling us to live and live more deeply and purposefully.

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Zalman Marcus

P.s. We were sent home before lunch. G-d bless America. I love jury duty but 5 hours was more then enough.