Proud To Be A Jewish Woman

Proud To Be A Jewish Woman

I was sharing with a study group about our son’s recent Bar Mitzvah and they were very intrigued by the chasidic traditions associated with this special lifecycle event. One of the participants raised a question about bat mitzvah’s for girls, it went something like this: “When did girls start having Bat Mitzvah’s?” I realized that there was much more to this question then just historical trivia. There was an underlying question of the role of women in Judaism. Below is my response to her (underlying) question.

When did girls start having a bat mitzvah? The answer is at the same time that men started having a bar mitzvah. But to fully understand the meaning behind that statement let me put things into perspective. Women have sadly been mistreated for many years in societies and cultures around the world and throughout history. Eventually this produced a backlash in our recent history which led to a lot of reform in our country and in other likeminded societies. Women today have been able to equalize their standing in society and for the most part have been successful in creating a fair and equitable environment. During the height of this revolution every part of society came under scrutiny to see if it measured up to the test of equality and Judaism was put to the test. At first glance it appeared that Judaism was just as guilty as the prevailing society in not giving women their fair share and place of importance in Jewish tradition. On the surface they were right and they went all out to try to right that apparent wrong.

But that was only on the surface. Any deeper look at Judaism would have produced a very different conclusion. Up until about 300 years ago the center of Jewish life revolved around the Jewish home. With the emancipation and the acceptance of Jewish people into the larger non-Jewish society, Jewish people became influenced by their non-Jewish neighbors and slowly they replaced the synagogue as the center of Jewish life instead of the home. Very similar to the Christian world they were assimilating into where the center of the religious life was in church. So instead of kosher, Shabbat and the laws of family purity being the center of Jewish life it was slowly being replaced by Friday night or Saturday and even Sunday services, the synagogue and all of its rituals were becoming the center.

What does the Torah say? What is and should be the center of Jewish life? In Jewish law we find this question: if a community only has enough money to purchase a synagogue or to build a mikvah (a ritual bath used by women for their special mitzvah) which one should they build? If you would have lived 300 years ago or older you would have answered the mikvah without any hesitation, but today most people will say the synagogue. The synagogue has become the symbol of Judaism today. But in Jewish law it is clear that the mikvah takes precedence over the synagogue.

Which mitzvah is more important keeping Kosher or praying in a synagogue? Which is more important keeping the Shabbat or reading from the Torah? To many people today the latter is more important but Jewish law is absolutely clear that keeping kosher and Shabbat are more important and take precedence over praying in a synagogue or reading from the Torah publicly.

When it comes to kosher who has a more important role a man or a woman? When it comes to keeping Shabbat who has a more important role the man or the woman? They are equal, in actuality the woman usually played a bigger role in both of those mitzvot.

When it comes to the mikvah, a woman’s mitzvah, it takes precedence over a synagogue!

So who moved the cheese? Who replaced the synagogue as the center of Jewish life? But now that it was moved by some I can fully understand why women would feel that Judaism was just like the rest of society and just did not treat women with respect and with dignity. So instead of examining the roots of this transformation and realizing that the true center of Judaism is in the home (not sowing and cooking etc. but the mitzvoth and connections we create with G-d in our homes) and Judaism is really not what it has been wrongly portrayed, instead they took the synagogue and not only made it the center of Jewish life for men (which it should not be) they went ahead and made it the center of Jewish life for women as well, what a shame.

Our pride in Judaism should come from the fact that we have this most amazing relationship with G-d and that we, mere mortals of flesh and blood, are able to fulfill a deep divine wish and desire. And that both men and women have always played a critical role in providing that experience for G-d and being able to have an intimate relationship with G-d. Most of the mitzvot apply equally to both men and women. There are some mitzvot that men and women play different roles. Men were given some mitzvot that are masculine and women were given some mitzvot that are feminine and together they make a perfect match, complimenting each other in their interconnected mission of having a relationship with the divine. I actuality the 3 most important mitzvot are Shabbat (which includes all areas related to family life), kosher (which includes our physical and spiritual health) and mikvah (which includes happy marriages) and women play a very important role in those 3, in some ways even more than men.

Today many women are beginning to look at Judaism from that perspective and are proud of their role in Judaism and realizing their importance in the really important parts of our relationship with G-d and they are embracing it with great excitement.

Our Hebrew school is a good example of this new trend. Lately we have more Bat mitzvah’s than Bar mitzvah’s. The girls have a very different ceremony than the boys and not only are they and their families not offended by the ceremony but they comment on how this ceremony was one of the most meaningful bat mitzvah’s they have attended. Why because they can feel how important the bat mitzvah girl is to Judaism and to the Jewish people and they can sense in her a deep pride in her Judaism and in her being a Jewish woman.

That in short was my answer to the question of when did girls start having a bat mitzvah? A bat mitzvah is when a girl begins her relationship with G-d and becomes a very important part of the Jewish people. There never was a time in Judaism when that was not the case. From the very beginning both men and woman had this special opportunity and responsibility.

Next week we will deal with what if a woman wants to do the masculine mitzvot?

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Zalman Marcus