Have You Been Seen Lately?

Have you been seen lately?

Have you ever experienced the feeling of not being seen? It could have been a parent, a sibling, school mates, a teacher, a co-worker or a boss. Is there something you are doing today to compensate for not being seen as a child or a young adult?

Many adults today are still looking to be seen, whether it is from their family or from their peers or even strangers. The reason behind their search is because they felt at some point that they were not seen. This is very often the case with teenagers and why it is that they act out. For many teens it is because they feel that they are not seen or understood. No one is listening to them, especially their parents. Many teens have expressed that their greatest desire from their parents is that they should sped more time with them.

If you ever experienced something like this you know exactly what I am talking about. You may have been on the playground in school and been bullied and when you told your parents about it they just blew it off. They did not hear you. Or you needed some attention from your parents and they seemed to not see you or hear you.

These kinds of experiences can affect the person in a dramatic way. They can become obsessed with themselves to the point where they can no longer see anyone else and therefore continue the cycle or they can become some of the most sensitive people in the world and make sure to see and hear everyone in their lives.

Now seeing your children does not mean giving them what they want. Actually the opposite is true when we give our children no or little structure it is a subtle message of not seeing or hearing them as well. Our children crave structure. Seeing your child means caring for them and being present when they need you. Disciplining them and giving them structure.

In the Torah we are told that if you reflect on 3 things you will stay away from sin, “know that which is above you; an eye that sees, an ear that hears and that everything you do is recorded”.

At first glance this is simply a deterrent for sinning. If you know you are being watched you are not going to sin, simple as that. But I think there is a much deeper lesson here. You should always know that G-d sees you and hears you and cares about what you do. Even if you feel that some of the people in your life have not seen you or heard you, G-d always does. When I feel seen and heard that inspires me to want to do good and be there for others, for G-d and for the world, when I don’t feel seen or heard, then I tend to do things I shouldn’t.

At Mount Sinai it was time for us to see G-d and to experience being seen by G-d, we are told that every Jewish soul was there. Even today in 2010 deep in our soul is the experience of being seen by G-d.

During the times of the Temple, all Jews would travel to the Temple 3 times a year for the pilgrimage festivals. In describing the experience the Torah says, “To see and to be seen”. Going to the Temple was a glimmer of the Mount Sinai experience. Today that we don’t have the holy Temple, studying the Torah and spending time with the righteous are the methods we can use to experience that today.

Just as G-d sees and hears us, it is our duty to make sure the people in our lives are seen and heard. So if you are still feeling unseen or unheard; 1. Remember that G-d always sees and hears you. 2. Do your best to see and hear others.

May we merit the time when we are told that “Your eyes will behold your Teacher (G-d)”, when we will truly see and be seen, with the coming of Moshiach speedily in our days.

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Zalman Marcus