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Rabbi's Blog

Birthdays are not just for kids

Friday, March 26, 2010 - 8:34 PM

Birthdays are not just for kids

Do you celebrate your birthday? Are you getting older or younger? What is the secret to youthfulness? How old are the Jewish people? What does this have to do with Passover?

What is so special about your birthday? When you were a child your parents and grandparents made a big deal out of it and you thought you were the center of the universe. You do the same for your kids and grandkids, but for yourself, you sometimes wish you wouldn’t have one. After all it only means one thing; I am one more year away from being 21.

What does Judaism say about birthdays? Does our Torah have an insight into this lifecycle event? The Torah actually tells us that our birthday is very special and we should commemorate it. But why? I didn’t do anything special? All I did was stay alive, is that a reason to celebrate?

A Birthday reminds us of the day we were born, hence the name birth-day. Why were we born? For what reason and purpose were we born? It is because we have a special mission and unique role to play in G-d’s cosmic plan. Every year on our birthday we are reminded of that purpose and therefore we have something to celebrate, another year of fulfilling our mission.

Now this is not something to keep to ourselves, since fulfilling our mission is very much connected with the rest of the Jewish people and the world at large. We should therefore make an effort to bring together as many people as possible and inspire them to join you in celebrating life and our G-d given purpose.

Today is the Rebbe’s birthday and every year on his birthday he would make a public gathering and utilize his special day to reach out to as many people as possible and encourage them to live life to its fullest potential and to fulfill our purpose.

What was amazing was that each year the Rebbe seemed to be getting younger and younger. Here was a man in his late 80’s and early 90’s who was so young at heart. Let me explain.

What does getting old mean? Obviously we all age, yet some of us get older and some get younger. The secret is in our attitude; a young person is optimistic, faithful and has a positive outlook on life. By contrast an old person is someone who is pessimistic, has no or little faith and can only see the negativity of the world.

Every one of us had a bubbe or a zaide who was like that, maybe it was a great bubbe, who would recite psalms and had appositive outlook, believed that one day things would get better, that Moshiach will come. She was young and getting younger.

If you look at the Jewish people, we are one of the most aged of people’s yet we are young in spirit. Just look at Israel, one of the most technologically advanced, cutting edge, state of the art nations in the world, not bad for the being 4,000 years aged. As a people we have and continue to be one of the most optimistic group, faithful and believing despite what weve been through and seen. We believe in humanity, cures for diseases and a better tomorrow.

The Rebbe was just that kind of person and leader, always having faith in a better perfected world of Moshiach, always believing in Jewish people and in humanity, never losing his optimism, but rather getting more and more optimistic as he aged.

Passover is our national birthday, and that is why we make such a big deal about it. Think of Abraham as the time when our nation was conceived, the patriarchs and matriarchs was the gestation period. Our slavery in Egypt, that was the contractions. Our exodus from Egypt was the actual birth.

It’s a time for us to reflect on our national purpose and mission as well as our individual role that each one of us plays.

Birthdays are a time for gifts, the greatest gift is our own personal growth and advancement towards reaching our goal by adding a mitzvah to our life, to our daily or weekly routine.

This year celebrate our national birthday as well as your own personal one and instead of getting older get younger and show your bubbe that you are younger then her, that you are more optimistic, believing, faithful, passionate and fired up about your people, your history, your destiny and personal mission and purpose then she ever was.

Every year at the end of our seder we chant together, “next year in Jerusalem”, always hopeful, believing and optimistic. Just as the exodus from Egypt was a birthday, we too are waiting for the ultimate birthday. The day that the whole world will truly be free; the time we have been praying for and hoping for for thousands of years, the time of Moshiach.

May he come today, and when he does we will have our new birthday and begin celebrating immediately.

Happy Birthday

Shabbat Shalom

Happy and Kosher Passover

Rabbi Zalman Marcus

Evolution or Revolution

Friday, March 19, 2010 - 5:57 PM

Evolution or Revolution

Are you just evolving or are you revolutionizing your life? What part of your life could use a real makeover? What is the REAL reason that we eat matzah on Passover? Why is this month the first month of the year when our new year is 6 months away?

To be Jewish we have to answer a question with a question: Do you believe in evolution? Of course you do, after all you have been evolving ever since you were born. In the scientific sense of the word, evolution is our attempt to explain how we went from simple to complex, from one to many and from small to gigantic. And one scientific theory on how that all happened is the theory of evolution.

There is one question however that science does not ask and probably cannot ask and that is; how did something come from nothing? For starters science can’t quantify nothing. How do you measure nothing? So science deals with what it can measure and that is something. And we use our knowledge to study that something to figure out how it works and changes.

Nothing to something is not an evolutionary process it is a revolutionary process. How many evolutionary years would it take for nothing to become something? The answer is never. Evolution only begins after something is here. To go from nothing to something is a quantum leap, a revolutionary leap that happens in a flash.

Let me give you a relevant personal example to make this more tangible: If you have a natural musical talent (something) and you develop it that would be an evolutionary development and it would not be too hard, it would take time and we could predict how long it will take. How about if you are a nice person (another name for someone who can’t say no because he does not want to offend anyone), and you decide that you would like to change your nature and become a good person ( a person who does what is right even if the other person may not like it), that is a revolutionary jump, it is extremely difficult, when it happens it only takes an instant (you are just so sick and tired of being sick and tired and you just change) and no one can predict when it will happen.

The same thing with creation of nothing into something, it is much more difficult then say changing something simple into something more complex, it only takes an instant and no one can predict when it will happen.

It reminds me of the joke of the professor who finally is able to clone the perfect human being; a disease free, happy and successful human being. He turns to G-d and says, “You see I am a better creator then you, you created a flawed human being and I have created a perfect specimen. He challenges G-d to a public showdown; G-d agrees and shows up to the professor’s lab. The professor has prepared 2 huge piles of dirt and he turns to G-d and says, “Are you ready?”, G-d responds, “Yes I am ready, but you have to get your own dirt!!!”. It is an infinite leap to go from nothing to something, to “create your own dirt”. Once you have dirt then it is not an infinite leap to create other things from it. Nothing to something is revolutionary not evolutionary.

So what does this have to do with Passover? Matzah? And what is the lesson for us today?

Why do we eat Matzah? Ask anyone who has ever been to a Seder and they will tell you that it is because when we left Egypt we were in such a hurry that the dough did not have time to rise, and that is why we eat matzah that did not have time to rise.

My question to you is; Who cares? Why is this detail of our exodus from Egypt so important that each and every generation carefully transmit not just the story of our exodus but that we did not have time for the dough to rise. Why is that detail so significant?

Secondly; Why were we in a rush? Were we rushing or were we being rushed?

Thirdly; If we were in such a rush why did we leave at noon and not early in the morning so we could beat the camel traffic? Even if we were in a rush we had plenty of time for the dough to rise? The death of the first born was at midnight and we did not leave till noon the next day, that is close to 12 hours, how long does it take for dough to rise?

Now let’s try to pull it all together: Was leaving Egypt an evolutionary event or a revolutionary event, can slaves free themselves? Was this natural growth or a quantum leap? Did we evolve into a nation or did G-d make us into a nation? Could we have done it on our own?

The answer is no. this was a revolutionary leap. We went from slavery to becoming a nation of priests and leaders. There is no evolutionary timetable for how long it takes for that to happen. When it happens it is a miracle and it only takes an instant. And that is why we eat matzah, to remind us that it was not a natural, evolutionary development, but rather it was a quantum, revolutionary, infinite jump. And that is why we had no time. From the time we became free until the time we left was a flash and in that flash the dough could not rise.

This detail we need to carefully transmit to our children and to all future generations for this sums up the entire story of Exodus. G-d in a flash made the infinite leap for us and took us from slavery to freedom, from nothing into something.

This is not just an historical event that happened long ago but rather every single year the same thing occurs. We are miraculously elevated to a place we could never get to naturally. And that is why we our new year is not in the first month of the year. You see we have a new year that celebrates or natural and evolutionary progress, called Rosh Hashana and we have a new year that celebrates our revolutionary jumps, called Passover. Now you know why it is that Jewish people have been involved in so many revolutions throughout history (some we are proud of others not). It is in our blood. Abraham had a revolutionary idea; monotheism can and should be taught to everyone. When G-d came to the Jewish people he gave us a revolutionary mission; to bring G-d down to earth. We immediately said yes, it was a perfect fit; a revolutionary idea for a revolutionary people.

So this year at the seder as you eat the matzah remind yourself and your family why we REALLY eat matzah and tap into the revolutionary power invested in this holiday and tap into your own infinite, G-dly soul, and make a quantum leap in your life.

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Zalman Marcus

The Secret to Unhappiness

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 7:26 PM

The Secret to Unhappiness

Why is happiness such a hot topic? Why are we attracted to happy people? Why are we jealous of people who seem to be happy and wish we could be like that? What is the secret to our unhappiness?

This month is the Jewish month of Adar, it is the only month of the Jewish year when we are instructed to be happy for an entire month. Not only that but Jewish tradition demands that we always increase when it comes to good and holy things, so each and every day of Adar we need to increase the level of joy from the day before. A tall order it seems, especially since so many people have challenges and struggles just being happy at all, let alone increasing it.

What is it about happiness that makes it so attractive? And what is it that is the root of our unhappiness? And why is it that Jewish people seem to suffer more from unhappiness then others?

Each one of us is made of two parts, part animal part G-d. That makes us human. The part of G-d in us is naturally happy, the animal in us struggles with happiness.

Since deep down we are happy and that is a natural state for us, we crave that feeling. We want to be back in that soulful happy state.

The greatest obstacle to happiness is conflict, especially inner conflict. When our lives are not aligned and centered around who we are, we cannot be happy. This is why Jewish people can suffer from unhappiness more then others. Jewish people have a greater inner and outer conflict then most of the other people. For one we live in a non-Jewish environment and we have to constantly shift from expressing our Jewishness to fitting in to a non-Jewish world. Inwardly we are conflicted as well. The demands of Judaism are great, 613 commandments that affect every aspect of our lives. Am I a good Jew? Can be a gnawing question for us.

Especially today when we are being pulled in so many directions already, thanks to technology, our lives have become even more conflicted and divided. Only increasing our inner and outer conflicts.

So how do we achieve happiness? How do we resolve this conflict? For that we have a Torah, a road map for resolving this conflict. A path to aligning and integrating all of our seemingly diverse, conflicted and different roles and tasks.

There is a way to express who we are in every activity we do. We can express our Jewishness in every aspect of our lives.

Years ago it was enough just to study the Torah and it commentaries. Today our conflicts are greater and therefore we need to go deeper into the Torah to be able to resolve this deeper schism. For that we have Kabbalah and Chassidut, it is the soul of the Torah and through it we can connect even the most seemingly diverse things.

There was once a young camel talking to its mother and inquiring about the various features camels are born with:

Young Camel: Mom why do we have such flat feet?

Mom: To walk in the sandy desert

YC: Why the hump on our back?

Mom: To store water in the hot desert

YC: Why the thin slit for our eyes?

Mom: To keep the desert sand out of our eyes

YC: Then Mom, what are we doing in the Bronx Zoo?

When we align our life with who we are then we can remove the conflicts in our lives both inner and outer, and we can allow our soul to shine through and experience our natural happiness.

In the 1950’s there was a Rabbi of a Reform congregation on the East coast by the name of Herbert Wiener. He wrote a book 9 ½ Mystics. For one of his mystics he interviewed the Rebbe. One of his questions to the Rebbe was; how come the young Chassidim look so naïve? The Rebbe responded that he was mistaking the look of someone who has no inner conflict with naiveté. These young men have no major inner or outer conflict, because the Torah they study resolves that for them and that is what you are seeing in their eyes.

When we can take small steps to reducing our conflicts we will open ourselves up to experiencing true happiness.

May our small efforts be the final step needed to usher in the era of Moshiach about which it says, “Then our mouths will be filled with happiness and laughter”.

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Zalman Marcus

Don't Give Up On Your Relationship

Friday, March 5, 2010 - 4:09 PM

Don’t Give Up On Your Relationship

Have you given up on a relationship? Are you stuck in a stale mate situation? Do you feel that G-d has given up on you? Have you given up on G-d?

We all have many relationships; spouses, children, parents, siblings, fellow tribe members, G-d, etc. How many of them are we ready to give up on?

This weeks Torah portion sheds a lot of light on this subject. Our Torah is unique in that the story is not about saints, rather about people who make a lot of mistakes. Let’s start with the story: The Jewish people hear G-d speak the 10 commandments; I am the Lord you G-d, You shall have no other G-d’s beside me, and so on. Moses goes up the mountain for 40 days and nights to get the rest of the Torah and the Oral Torah, the people miscalculate the 40 days and begin to get restless. They gather around Ahron and demand a new leader, a new intermediary. They collect gold, throw it into the fire, out comes a golden calf, and they begin worshiping it saying, “This is your G-d, Israel, that took you out of Egypt”. Moses comes down and sees what’s going on and breaks the Tablets. G-d tells Moses that he wants to destroy the people and start over again. Moses goes back up the mountain for 40 days and nights and begs G-d to forgive them and threatens G-d that if He doesn’t forgive the people then He should erase Moses from the Torah. G-d forgives the people and tells Moses to bring up a new set of tablets. Moses does just that and goes up for another 40 days and nights and finally comes down with the second set of tablets.

That is the story in a nut shell.

Now why would G-d want this story recorded in the Torah? If G-d’s intention is for us to not worship idols then it would probably be better to hide the story. If you tell your children that they should not take drugs, is it a good idea to tell them that you yourself did not listen to your parents and you disregarded their warning and took drugs? Also is it nice to make it so public? Why not put it in the midrash, in the oral torah. Everyone can read this! Imagine every time you were in public you were reminded of your past infidelities, how would that make you feel?

Obviously the purpose of putting in the Torah is not to embarrass us quite the contrary it is to inspire us. Exactly how is this story inspirational???

The answer is that many times we feel that our relationship with G-d is over, we have strayed so far, we are so disconnected, that it is all but dead. The message from this story is how faithful G-d is to us, that although we did what we did G-d did not abandon us. G-d stayed faithful to us. That is the inspiration we should get from reading this story that no matter what, we are G-d’s people.

If they who saw the miracles in Egypt, experienced the splitting of the sea, saw G-d communicate to them, heard directly from G-d not to have any other G-d’s and they went ahead and did the unthinkable, all within 40 days of the instructions and yet G-d stuck with them. There is nothing we could do that could rival that. Therefore we are assured that G-d is and will always be our G-d and we will always be his people. If that is not inspirational I don’t know what is.

And this explains how Moses could break the tablets, after all they were G-d’s gift to the Jews, He should have returned it not break them. What Moses was saying was that the Tablets can be broken but not the connection between G-d and His people. And that also explains Moses’ chutzpah to give G-d an ultimatum, either forgive them or erase me from your Torah, is that the way you speak to the creator of Heaven and earth? Is this the conduct of the most humble man on earth? Moses knew that the way to show G-d respect is to honor his connection that He has with His people. Moses knew that this is what G-d wanted to hear from him. Otherwise why was G-d notifying him of his decision to destroy the people. Does G-d need Moses’ permission? If G-d was telling this to him it must be because he wanted to see Moses’ response. On both accounts, breaking the tablets and the ultimatum, G-d was very pleased and thanked Moses for his correct response.

G-d is showing us what kind of commitment He has made to us in the hope that we will reciprocate that commitment to Him, as well as a model for our interpersonal relationships. In our own personal relationships it is more complicated, we are dealing with another person who has free choice, but if both make a commitment to reconnecting, there is nothing that can stand in the way of that relationship rejuvenating and becoming vibrant and alive, filled with love and commitment.

If we all truly commit to our G-dly relationship it will surely help us in our interpersonal relationships. And our perfected interpersonal relationships will help us improve our G-dly relationship.

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Zalman Marcus

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