What Are My Jewish Rights?
Thank G-d we live in a country that gives us equal rights for men and women and for all religions. But do I have rights in Judaism? Do men have rights within Judaism and do women have rights within Judaism?
Last week we covered the role of Jewish women and how it in many ways is as great if not greater than men. The question this week is do I have the right to do a masculine mitzvah if I am a woman and vice versa?
The answer in short is: rights are good for society but they are disastrous for relationships.
In society rights are the only way to protect us from one group abusing another group and for individuals and religions to be treated with respect. But when it comes to our relationships rights are not the way to go. They are a last resort and a sign of a deep fracture in the relationship or worse.
As a spouse I should be less concerned with my rights and more concerned with trying to truly understand my spouse and being there for each other. So for example if my spouse does not like the way I look in a certain color, of course I have the right to wear whatever color I want but if I want to be in a relationship I will not wear that color.
The same would go for any and all requests that my spouse has that are not illegal, immoral or against my religious belief. It is not my rights that are important it is wanting to relate to the other that is important. And as long and it is not violating the law or a moral code I will try to do every request, wish and desire.
If each spouse starts demanding their rights they are in big trouble.
Now let’s examine how we view our religion, is it a society and culture or is it a relationship with the divine? If it is a society then I need to focus on my rights and make sure they are intact and are protected. But if it is a relationship with G-d then I am more interested in what it is that G-d’s wishes, desires and requests then I am about my rights.
So do men or women have rights in Judaism? That depends on if you think Judaism is a relationship or not.
Today is the day the Rebbe accepted the leadership position of Chabad and as the 7th leader in the chabad dynasty he continued sharing the chabad Chasidic view that Judaism is a relationship with G-d. And just as in every relationship we our focus should be on accommodating and loving our spouse so too in our relationship with G-d we too should be excited and focused on being there for G-d in whatever way G-d requests.
And if G-d has masculine mitzvot that G-d would like men to perform and feminine mitzvot that G-d would like women to perform and that together it accomplishes G-d’s divine desire and wish I am all for it and excited about it. What my rights are doesn’t even enter into my mind. I am too busy having a deep relationship with the divine.
Well I got to go now, my spouse has a request for me and so does G-d (besides the request that G-d has that I honor and love my spouse) and I can’t wait to do both.
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Zalman Marcus